What is Premarital Counseling? 

The word “counseling” tends to have negative feelings attached to it. 

Contrary to popular belief, counseling isn’t something that is only resorted to when there is a problem in a relationship. 

In Islam, premarital counseling can help a couple navigate the struggles they will face in their first few months of marriage, and help them resolve those conflicts before they escalate. It also helps them build communication skills and learn more about themselves as an individual and as a couple. 

The Pious Hearts team has put together the top 5 benefits of Islamic premarital counseling: 

 

1. It builds communication skills

 

When couples come to counseling, it helps them learn how to communicate with one another. Understanding how each person communicates in a relationship is critical to the success of a relationship. Maybe you need space while your partner likes to talk things out immediately. Maybe your partner likes to do something to get their mind off of the issue at hand while you prefer to confront the issue head-on. 

A certified counselor [LINK HERE] can help a couple learn to better communicate their individual needs and desires, better understand one another, and learn how to cope when tough times arise. 

 

2. Plan for the future

 

Premarital counseling is more than just a way of learning how to connect with your spouse and solve current issues. A counselor can help you and your partner set clear religious, familial, and financial goals, and have a plan for how to get there together. Is one spouse going to stay home after having kids? What will that look like for you as a family? What challenges may you face in the future and what are the ways you can get through that? Couples often get caught up in wedding planning, that they overlook planning for the future. Having a plan going into a marriage will help you and your future spouse be ready to tackle the challenges that come your way. 

 

3. Safe space to openly discuss fears, needs, and wants

 

This is closely tied with learning how to communicate. Many of us have very common fears going into a marriage. A counselor can help you learn how to confront those fears and communicate them with your spouse. Oftentimes we are also afraid to openly communicate our wants and needs as we go into a relationship, and a counselor can help you get past that. Addressing these three items can help you and your spouse better understand what to expect going into the marriage. With the help of a counselor, you can learn to talk openly about things before they become issues down the road. 

 

4. Discover new things about yourself and your partner

 

Do you know what makes you happy in a relationship? What about what makes your future spouse light up with joy? How have you both handled conflict in the past and how will that translate into your future? Oftentimes we believe we know ourselves and our partners more than we actually do! Counselors can help bring out important traits that we may have overlooked in ourselves and our partners. 

 

5. Connect and trust your partner

 

While these initial conversations are difficult, having them early on and with the help and guidance of a counselor will really set you up for success. Learning to verbalize what your expectations are may be difficult at first, but it will really help you connect with your partner. When your connection is strong and you know you can trust your partner with anything without being judged for it, you have set up a foundation for a very successful marriage, inshaAllah. 

Finding a pious Muslim spouse can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. While we all dream of finding that “perfect” person, Islam gives us guidelines that we can use during our search. Here are 10 things to look for in a Muslim spouse. 

The Famous Hadith about Marriage

We’ve all heard the famous hadith about the four things a Muslim woman is married for. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser.” (Al-Bukhari)

How does this translate to today’s marriage process? And what else does Islam say about finding a spouse? 

The Pious Hearts team has compiled three important characteristics to look for in a spouse: 

 

1. Righteousness 

 

Righteousness means different things to different people. Oftentimes singles will only define righteousness by how much a person prays and fasts. 

But it doesn’t stop here. 

When you are looking for someone righteous, look at their character. How well do they treat others? Are they good to their family? Do they have a good relationship with their siblings? Are they involved in the community? 

All these are questions you should be asking yourself when searching for someone righteous. Prayer and fasting are at the top of the list, but righteousness encompasses so much more than performing Islamic rituals. 

 

2. Attraction 

 

Contrary to what many singles believe, Islam does say that we are allowed to find someone we are attracted to. Yes, your main focus should be the deen, but the attraction is also a very important part of marriage that should not be overlooked. 

On the authority of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.’

Keep an open mind when it comes to the physical characteristics that you are looking for. Don’t make physical attraction your main focus, but also make sure that you have an attraction towards your future spouse. [LINK TO PREVIOUS POST]

 

3. Financial Responsibility 

 

While the first hadith we quoted mentions wealth, this should not be the only focus when looking for a spouse. It’s important to understand that while wealth isn’t the most important thing in a relationship, financial responsibility is an important factor when selecting a spouse. Islamically, it is the duty of the male to support his wife financially, but it is important for both men and women to make sure that they are compatible when it comes to spending and saving habits. This decreases the amount of financial stress that comes with financial decisions down the road in a marriage. 

Over the last several years, I’ve worked with so many singles and matched lots of couples. I know more than anyone how stressful it is to find that special one. After all, this is THE biggest decision you’ll make in your life, and you want to make sure that you’re set up for success. 

Based on my experience, here are three tips I have to help you find the one. 

 

1. Be open-minded

 

As a matchmaker, I do my very best to find my clients someone that will truly blow them away. 

However,  it’s often very difficult for me to find someone who checks every single box. It’s definitely okay to have preferences, but my number one piece of advice is to keep an open mind. 

I can’t tell you how many single women I’ve worked with who say they only want someone who has hair but ended up falling in love with someone who is bald. Or they only want someone tall and ended up loving someone on the shorter side. Then there are the single men who say they want someone who is light-skinned or blonde, but ended up falling in love with someone of a darker complexion. Or only want a girl who is from a certain background and then marrying one who is from a different ethnic or cultural background.

If someone matches all the personality traits you’re looking for, but maybe doesn’t have the exact physical or cultural traits you prefer, give them a chance. You really never know. And you might be pleasantly surprised. 

That brings me to my next piece of advice: 

 

2. Prioritize your deal breakers

 

I cannot stress this enough. 

It’s so important to be able to separate your preferences from your deal breakers. 

Make sure your deal breakers are well thought out.

Things like praying on time, fasting during Ramadan, working out regularly, not smoking, wanting or not wanting children, etc are valid deal breakers. 

Preferences include physical characteristics, education, occupation, marital status, and sometimes even personality traits. Have an idea of what you are looking for, but don’t let this be a hindrance to marrying a good overall person. 

Stay open-minded, but keep your deal breakers focused on things that will really affect you and the way you raise your family down the road. This is what true compatibility is based on. 

 

3. Be the person you’d love to marry

 

Sometimes we fall short in some areas and want someone who can help us become better versions of ourselves. That’s totally fine and a healthy part of any relationship. 

When choosing a spouse, however, keep in mind that no person can complete you, they can only compliment you. 

I’ve had many clients come to me wanting to marry someone who is in great physical shape and works out every day, but they themselves rarely work out and don’t take care of themselves physically. 

Be sure that what you are looking for is something that you yourself can attain. Otherwise, it won’t be fair to the other person. Want someone who prays all their prayers? Do your best to stay on top of yours. Want someone who eats healthy? Do your best to do the same. Even if you’re not on the same level, doing your best to improve the quality of your own life will translate into a much happier and successful relationship down the road. 

AboutIslam Speaks to the Founders of Matchmaking Service at MAS-ICNA

This post was originally published by Abdullah al Absi on About Islam. 

In a fun-filled weekend, slightly farther away from the Bazaar, and the thundering sounds of the main hall, a social event was brewing that created a ton of buzz.

In addition to the youth programs, main programs and other parallel activities that underscored the MAS-ICNA convention, “a Singles event” and overall networking session was being organized by an organization by the name of “Pious hearts”. Before the 100+ attendees that filled the space the following Saturday, I sat down with the Founder & Owner Nawal Ali, to pick her brain on the origins of this event and the Matchmaking service she had created.

I asked her how she started this event, and this service overall, and why it was of such a burning passion to her.

“The reason I started this company was I felt there was a need for a private service that was not public like a lot of the different Muslim themed apps out there, but the problem was a lot of girls did not want to put it out there due to the stigma of being on those types of public apps”.

“Another reason I started this, was being an Arab American, born and raised in Chicago, I realized there was an epidemic for Muslims that wanted to get married, but didn’t have the means or idea of how to do so, particularly the girls, because the pool was very limited in terms of how people got to know one another”.

Afterwards, I dug into the nature of the event itself, and how certain types of events became popular as of late. The reality of the matter is similar to the median age of average Americans getting married at a later median age, American Muslims are not too far different.

Nawal revealed, seeing that she was in Chicago, home to almost 250,000 Arabs, and nearly half a million Muslims, she found that women who desired marriage, were getting closer to their mid-30s before finding an eligible match.

This served as a “large market” for a lot of reasons seeing that Muslims put a heavy emphasis on marriage to avoid premarital relations as a religious prerequisite and to avoid traditional courtship and dating found in mainstream American culture.

In addition to that, with the advent of social media platforms, and other dating apps, even if they are Muslim friendly; Nawal emphasized that they were “impersonal” in many ways.

“Alhamdullih, We were blessed to have a very even ratio between men and women in these circles, which was unheard of in a lot of these types of events, where women tend to out-ratio the men”.

The turnout was very favorable in this regard, and seeing that it was a conference that largely emphasized female empowerment, this worked also in that favor as well.

The room was heavily decorated and very warm and inviting for a lot of potential suitors.

Despite, the event itself, the matchmaking service itself created a very staggering concept: Almost every member is typically matched anywhere “between 3 to 6 months”, which is largely a very favorable ratio in this space as well.

Each member is vetted and is carefully matched with the desired criteria of every other member. It largely creates a space where Nawal says “confidentiality is our largest priority; there is a big stigma to publicizing even the desire to get married, so we do our best to keep this a very confidential space via our website.

Nawal also shared that she truly wanted her company to be unique in that it was a wholesome service; many members are also matched to premarital counselors, psychologists, image consultants and other professionals that truly enhance the experience.

Pious Hearts Attendee Testimonials

Ameer, 27, from Florida, attended the event and had good things to say, a first time attendee to MAS-ICNA, he believed his “circle” in his local community didn’t give him an ideal situation to meet a spouse. The biggest draw was that it was led by a “matchmaking service, and the popularity of the event itself.” Overall, he was heavily impressed by the event, and it really drew him to use Pious Hearts for the future, as a matchmaking service.

“It was well organized and it felt that they had a genuine place to present opportunities and to allow people to mingle in a stress-free environment”.

Another female attendee, also thought that the event was very well organized, “everyone had tables to go to, it was very personalized and they developed a way for you to sit down with potential matches”.

The “icebreakers” were really well-put together in terms of kick-starting the right conversations among people in the room. What really motivated her to go to this event is interacting with Pious hearts even before going to the event. Questions around background, age, and other important factors were really motivating in a way that allowed them to personalize their experiences to mold their experience upon arrival.

“There were tons of activities to understand the people in the room such as interactive games, riddles, and other activities to evaluate the personalities of the people around them.”

During Sunday’s event, the Pious Hearts team and MAS was able to bring Shaykh Yaser Birjas to greet and share words of wisdom to all guests. He talked about the ‘5 myths’ about marriage. Alhamdulillah, all attendees were extremely appreciative and benefited tremendously. MashaAllah, it was great to see Shaykh Yaser, after his speech, stay to answer public and private questions from all attendees.

On a concluding note, one of the attendees gave a really profound statement on the importance of these types of events:

“Seeing we are children of immigrants, we tend to have such a diverse background and largely work within so many different networks and backgrounds; it becomes very difficult to create a connection. You could be the wealthiest person out there but we largely need to tap and see other people around us want a deep purpose; being married plays such a pivotal role in a Muslim’s life in a much more spiritual way than meeting people online; this event was really important and events like these have such a deep need in our communities”.

Let’s face it. 

By now, you or someone you know has probably been affected by coronavirus (Covid-19). 

During this trying time and test from Allah SWT, a lot of us are working from home, looking after family members, or may be experiencing business and personal hardships. 

While we are all quarantined, what are some things we can do to help us boost our eman, better ourselves, and improve our overall mental and physical well-being? 

The Pious Hearts team has put together these tips to show you how.

Tip 1: Practice Gratitude

All of the news lately has been very negative. 

As Muslims, we can practice gratitude everyday by increasing our dhikir (remembrance of Allah SWT). 

Try to say Alhamdullilah as much as you can as you look at all the blessings that Allah SWT has given you. 

If we are quarantined, alhamdulliah we are able to spend more time with our families. 

Alhamdulliah we are able to stay safe. 

Alhamdullilah we are able to keep our children near us during this time. 

Alhamdulliah we are Muslims. We can pray, fast, and use this time to prepare for Ramadan.

Alhamdulilah we are able to live another day and spend our time worshipping Allah SWT. 

Many coaches recommend using a gratitude journal, and starting your day by writing everything you are grateful for. 

Yes, Coronavirus is scary and we are not trying to downplay the severity of the pandemic. We should take the appropriate measures to stay safe, but at the same time, shift our mindsets and focus on what we are given rather than what has been taken away from us. 

Focusing on the blessings that Allah SWT has given us will make us that much more grateful for what we have, will allow us to appreciate our “normal” lives so much more, and will help us all start feeling a little bit better. 

Tip 2: Give Charity to Your Local Community

It’s so easy to get carried away with panic buying and ensuring that your family is well taken care of, especially in the event of a city-wide shut down. 

As Muslims, we also need to be mindful that there are thousands of people in our community (both Muslims and non-Muslims) who are below the poverty line. 

These people are unable to get the basic essentials they need to survive on a daily basis. 

In NYC alone, 750k kids rely on school for their meals. 

The NY Food bank provides 5 meals to families for every $1 donated. Their volunteers risk their lives every day to deliver food to people in need. 

You can donate here: https://www.foodbanknyc.org/ or find your local food bank here: https://www.feedingamerica.org/. 

Another thing you can do, if you are healthy and able to do so, is donate blood. 

Blood banks are running out of blood to serve patients who may need surgery. The US is currently facing a huge blood shortage. 

You can learn more about donating blood here: https://www.redcrossblood.org/donate-blood/dlp/coronavirus–covid-19–and-blood-donation.html

As Muslims, it is our duty to step up and help our community as much as possible, even when we are unable to volunteer directly. 

Al-Bukhaari (6015) and Muslim (2625) narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: 

“Jibreel kept urging me that neighbours should be treated well until I thought he would make them heirs.”

Let’s stay safe, and also try to help our community as much as possible (even if all you are able to help with is a $1 donation). Everything helps. 

Tip 3: Listen to Islamic lectures

Now is the perfect time to work on bettering ourselves and increasing our Islamic knowledge. 

Many of us in the Pious Hearts community have goals to get married, to become better people, to grow in our careers, and to improve our relationships. 

Sheik Yasir Birjas has incredible lectures on marriage, like this one called Selection of Prospective Spouse. 

We can also learn more about the sahaba, our beloved Prophet PBUH, and topics in Islam that are interesting to us. 

Tip 4: Use your “Commute” to Read Quran or Other Books

A lot of us lead very busy and stressful lives. 

Whether we are in school, raising a family, or working full time, we often do not have time for the things that we would like to do. 

During this quarantine, one thing you can do is start reading the Quran, a translation of the Quran, or even self improvement or professional development books. 

Even starting with one aya or half a page per day will make a huge difference. 

At-Tirmidhi (2910) narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever recites a letter of the Book of Allah will have one hasanah for it, and each hasanah brings a tenfold reward. I do not say that Alif-Laam-Meem is a letter; rather alif is a letter, laam is a letter and meem is a letter.”

Tip 5: Work With a Coach to Reach Your Personal Goals

With all this newfound time, now is a great opportunity to focus on reaching your personal goals that you may have shoved aside. 

Many of us would like to better our personal lives and relationships. 

Pious Hearts offers exclusive coaching to help you with that. Our team has certified coaches, counselors, and therapists ready to help you.

Our team will help you select the type of coaching that you need depending on your goals (becoming a better person in order to prepare for marriage, improving relationships you currently have, and growing personally and professionally). 

You can read about what Pious Hearts has to offer here.

The great thing is that all sessions are virtual, and you can now set aside time to work on action steps to improve yourself day by day. 

Tip 6: Share knowledge with your family and friends

Having the additional time with your family can be very beneficial during this time. 

As you read more, listen to lectures, or work on coaching, you can take this time to teach those around you what you have learned. 

Set aside time for a weekly halaqa, where you can talk about a new hadith, aya, or share a few tips with your family. 

If you live alone, you can even schedule time for a “virtual halaqa” with a few friends or family members. 

This will help open up opportunities for good discussions, and move the focus away from fear and anxiety related to the virus and more towards something positive and beneficial, inshaAllah. 

In Summary

Coronavirus (Covid-19) is a test for all of us. 

Let us take extra precaution to stay healthy and safe and to make sure that our families are also healthy and safe during this time. 

While many of us stay home or are in areas that are in complete quarantine, we can use this extra time granted to us in order to better ourselves personally and professionally. 

Whether we spend our time reading more, or working with a life coach or counselor, let us use this time wisely inshaAllah. 

Let us also keep in mind this beautiful Aya in surat al Tawba, which states:  

Nothing will happen to us except what God has decreed For us: He is our Protector ” And on God let the Believers Put their trust (surat Al Tawba Aya 51). 

The Pious Hearts team prays that everyone stays healthy inshaAllah.

She pulled her phone out and started taking pictures of me. 

Ummm khalto (auntie), what are you doing? I asked. 

Oh nothing habibti, just taking a photo of you so I can post it online and say that you’re looking for a man. 

I wish I was kidding. 

As embarrassing as it is, this story happened to me a few weeks ago. 

It has also happened to several of my single Muslim friends above the age of 25. 

One auntie even told a friend of mine she was going to put her face on an ad on the men’s side at the masjid. 

Sad, but true. 

I keep telling myself that it comes from a place of love. 

The aunties in the community just want to see us happy. Our families just want us to be married to a good man. 

Enter the struggles of a single Muslim woman in America.

The “Halal” Marriage/Dating App

When you’re a single Muslim woman living in America, it seems like you have one of two options. 

Option 1 – Marry a cousin from overseas. 

Option 2 – Make an account on a Muslim marriage or “dating” app. 

If you or a friend opted for option 2, you know it goes something like this: 

Swipe right, swipe left, match, get ghosted, rinse, repeat. 

Not the most sustainable option. 

While I do have friends who have met really great guys online, there is so much stigma that comes with it. 

If you are going to go for this option, the best advice I have is to be open with your family about it. 

Otherwise, you’ll be scratching your head to come up with a story for how you met a guy living halfway across the country. 

Be honest. 

The biggest frustration I hear from friends is being uncomfortable sharing their photo with thousands of guys online. 

Many of the men and women online are not serious about marriage, and the ones who are serious are very hard to find. 

The Fine Line Between Halal and Haram

We often hear people say that it’s okay to talk to someone with the intention of getting married. 

But let’s be honest here –  there are limits. 

And with “halal” dating apps, sometimes those limits seem far fetched. 

It’s so easy to get carried away, so whether you’re a guy or a girl, it’s never a good idea to join if you simply want to “see what’s out there”. 

Chances are you’ll be doing more harm than good. 

At the end of the day, talking for the sake of having a good time is haram. 

A good friend of mine ended up meeting her spouse online. She had a simple test though. 

If she felt like someone could be a good match, she didn’t hesitate to bring her family into the picture. 

If a guy didn’t like the fact that her family was aware, she knew he wasn’t serious and that he wasn’t the one. Simple as that. 

Other Options for Single Muslim Women

Let’s say you don’t want to go onto a Muslim marriage app, and you don’t want to marry a cousin from back home. 

What other options do you have? 

One frustration I hear from my friends is that they never met anyone through school, there was no one good from MSA, or that their families don’t know anyone. 

I can totally relate. 

Thankfully, there are other good options out there. 

You just have to be willing to give it a try. 

Matchmaking is Making a Comeback

The word Muslim matchmaker has such a negative stigma attached to it. 

I’ve heard:

“I don’t want to be match-made”. 

“I don’t want someone getting my information and matching me with someone I barely know.” 

I totally understand – it was weird for me at first too.

Here’s my two cents:

Islamic matchmaking has completely changed over the last few years. 

Options 1 and 2 are not good options for most people, and the best alternative is working with someone you know and trust. 

Someone who only works with good, decent people. 

Someone who is looking out for you. 

A matchmaker who can help you build your dream family. 

And you can say that a mutual contact connected the two of you!

Seriously, what do you have to lose? 

The Matchmaking Process

I always viewed my matchmaker in a friendly way. 

You wouldn’t hesitate to ask a friend to help you out, and a matchmaker is no different. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking the help of someone in order to find your spouse and complete half your deen. 

The process goes something like this: 

• You fill out a detailed profile about yourself
• You write a private and personalized message to your matchmaker describing what you are looking for
• You write a different message that will go to the person you are matched with, which says a little about you and describes the qualities you are looking for
• You have a session with your matchmaker
• You and your matchmaker get to know one another with monthly check-ins
• Your matchmaker will send you an email when she thinks she may have found you a match
• You can decide whether or not to move forward

If both parties agree, the matchmaker will set up an intro and exchange information. 

If you decide the person isn’t the one for you, not hard feelings. Your matchmaker will be on your side and support you with whatever you decide. 

If you think you might need some premarital counseling, or want to talk through any issues you are facing, your matchmaker can also help.

Looking at the Bright Side

Yes, single Muslim women in America struggle so much to find a compatible man. 

Yes, we are frustrated with all the overseas proposals and the creeps online. 

Yes, we want to settle down with someone who understands us. 

The frustrations are out there, and no woman is alone. 

Despite all these frustrations, the best advice I have is to keep trying and to never give up. 

You could be one match away from the “one”. 

You really never know where your naseeb will come from!

A guest blog by Mona, a Matchmaker for Muslim Singles. 

Yes, you read the title right.

I am a single American-born Egyptian matchmaker.

I’ve been an admin for a matchmaking group called Egyptians Marriage in the United States for many years now. This is not a job, but a volunteer service that I have joined.

I love matching people.

To know that I was the one that helped begin a Muslim family is so rewarding.

But as rewarding and great as matchmaking can be, there are a lot of challenges that come with it.

Here are the top 5 challenges that I face as a single Muslim matchmaker.

Challenge #1  Being too picky

I would say my number one challenge is dealing with overly picky people.

What do I mean by overly picky?

People who set so many restrictions on what they are looking for, whether it’s age, education, profession, or appearances.

There is definitely nothing wrong with having preferences with what you are looking for in your future spouse, but I do also think it’s important to keep an open mind.

I remember having one client that was looking for someone under 28, a certain height, with a fair complexion, etc.

Challenge #2  Exchanging Pictures

The next challenge is exchanging pictures.

When I first started matchmaking, I would just send a picture of the person that I received first. This created some issues.

The person would see the picture and tell me that they are not interested and not send me their picture. Obviously, the person who sent their picture is not pleased. This is how I started my rule that I only do picture exchanges simultaneously.

This leads me to my next challenge relating to pictures… breaking the news to someone that the person I was trying to match them with does not want to move forward after seeing their picture. It hurts anyone’s ego to get rejected based off of looks, but I do think that is why it’s important to do the picture exchange first.  If the person is very focused on the person’s looks then doing the picture exchange before any attachment occurs is the best way to go.

Challenge #3  Ghosting

What is “ghosting”?

Ghosting has become very popular in this day and age.

It’s when someone starts to get to know someone and then completely disappear without any communication as to why they don’t want to move on. This leaves the other person worried and confused, and in many cases very hurt.

I have had members completely ghost other members and completely disappear. The member being “ghosted” is left confused and hurt as to why there was such an abrupt end to the exchange.

In my opinion, “ghosting” is really immature and not necessary. It is much better to just explain to someone that you are not interested. I think it is always best to put yourself in the other person’s shoes before deciding to completely ignore someone. There is always a respectful and polite way to tell someone you are not interested.

Challenge #4  Dealing with Rude Members

I volunteer my time to help match people, and I am happy to do it.

It is frustrating though when people bark orders at you or get annoyed because I took some time to respond.

Some people act like they are paying me for this service and that I owe them something.  This challenge has taught me to always be polite and show appreciation towards the matchmakers that reach out to me.

Challenge # 5  Matching Myself with a Member

Now what happens when I am matching people, and I meet someone that I think I may like.

Should I tell them? What will happen if it does not work out?

I was faced with this dilemma when I first started. I decided to get to know a member but unfortunately he ended up not being a good match. We were both mature adults about it and I went on to try to match him with several other people. I think it is important in our search to not take everything so personally. We could all benefit each other if we kept each other in mind. For example, maybe I was talking to someone that was not a good match for me, but I thought of a friend he could possibly match with. I feel like this process could be more productive if everyone went into it willing to help each other out.

What’s the Best Part of Being a Single Muslim Matchmaker?

Although there are many challenges involved with being a single matchmaker there are also benefits. The main one being that you can relate to your clients. Everyone knows how emotionally exhausting looking for a spouse can be. I always keep an open ear to listen to my clients and let them vent. Sometimes, they let me vent to them too.

People sometimes ask me why I’m a matchmaker when I’m single? Why don’t you focus your time searching for yourself? My response is that sometimes it’s easier to focus on helping other people instead of yourself!  Also, I am doing this for the sake of Allah and hope to get my ultimate reward in the Hereafter.

Being a matchmaker is so rewarding. Some people are so nice and really make you feel like a rock star.

Besides people being very nice and appreciative, I have met some wonderful ladies that have become good friends. There is comfort in meeting people who are your same age that are also still single. We definitely support each other. No, there’s nothing wrong with any of us. We are all unique human beings that Allah has written our destiny for.

I’ve learned that marriage is definitely one of those things that we have to really put our trust in Allah for. I am not saying not to search for a spouse, and Allah is going to drop your naseeb at your doorstep, but we have to do our part in searching and then leave the rest up to Allah. He knows who is best for us and when it is best for us to meet that special one.

I’ll end my post with a quote that really resonates with me: ‘Happily single until what I prayed for finds me.’

Thank you for reading.